New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
