Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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