I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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