it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
