when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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