Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
