I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
