I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
