i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize