i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
