Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
