No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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