I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
