Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
