you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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