Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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