she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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