i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
