Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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