Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
