Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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