just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize