New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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