i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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