Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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