he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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