Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
smell my finger.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
