therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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