and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
