Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
