His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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