just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
