Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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