She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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