Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
