He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm too high and old for this...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
