how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
