It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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