This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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