I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
