Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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