I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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