AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
