He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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