i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
