Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
