He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
