I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
