guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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