Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
