I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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