I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
