I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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