You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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