I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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