I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
