3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
