Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
