I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
