My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
