I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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